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The day has come to be associated with a generic platonic greeting of “Happy Valentine’s Day.” As a joke, Valentine’s Day is also referred to as “Singles Awareness Day.” — Wikipedia.

No, I am not talking about subordinates getting fired by their lover bosses today. Even then, such incident will evoke familiar territory — it might be true to your officemate (or YOU!).

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Love is a fact, as it is in the proverbial air, but unless you are a corpse, I won’t stimulate ideas with you. Boo!

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It would be difficult – but bloody difficult, at that – to argue with someone who has made a serial killing with love: jumping from one lover’s nest to the next is another story. Or talk the transfixing unrequited type, when time and debts collide, the beaten man wins his love again.

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Caught in the firing squad today? Stop complaining such slow death! Think of how your forefathers were martyred, not for love, but for religion’s sake. Unless you worship that sizzling sisig of a body all night long, the Church will barely punish you, perhaps by burning you at stake, when all that is barely burning are just pure hormones.

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Hail commercial cretins! What a crazy concoction! Sky’s the limit with their cards-flowers-confectionary prices. Houston, are you with me? Where’s the fun in all that?

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Seeking a room of your own? Too late to beat the plane for Paris? To celebrate tonight, try those Parisian-inspired theme rooms in those instant Valentine’s motels in the city. It’s high time to demonstrate what truly inspires, unites, cries and laughs – and if you are not a corpse really, it’s all about love then. So, trust me baby, just get yourself protected.

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To cynicals and love agnostics: The only saving safety device we can suggest and employ is that you light a candle in the Basilica Minore del Santo Niño and yes, prayer (with faith) moves mountains.

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To the romantics: That’s the spirit, keep it up! Valentines is all year round. We love you for that.

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For the Bisaya: Love is like a bubble gum, kong mopilit makabuang. (Sorry, CebuAsia can’t translate this for you, for now, grab a Cebuano or a counterpart dictionary nearby).

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A classic beauty pageant question by a classic beauty pageant judge: What is love?

The erring contestant’s answer (in all her unwitting, mysterious smiles): First of all, thank you for that question. (DEADLY LONG PAUSE) Love is… mysterious. THANK YOU! (with matching courteous waves to the audience, marching confidently backstage, sometimes tripping over after realizing what she had just said).

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For the newbies and kids: Happy Valentimes!

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We hate to disappoint you for this sweetest downfall as a revenge best served cold (inside your refrigerators). Valentines is not only for lovers, but also be the time to reflect on our past lovers and hope they are still alive… ALONE and MISERABLE!

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To the hopeless romantics: Here’s an impeccable text…

Valentine tips…

Blue Roses
for
Lovers,

Wyt chocol8s
for
Crushes,

Pink balloons
for
Friendships,

Most of ol

For lovless,

Red (how sweet, indeed!)

…REDHORSE!

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HAPPY SAD! (Singles Awareness Day) 

We hate to be cheesy, as when we say, “love is like a rollercoaster ride.” But what the heck, we love cheese! And this is CebuAsia’s parting shot: It really feels all good, way up and down, all coming dizzying around, so why not get in love?

Graphics by AgtangSipat.

(Content and graphics are copyrighted by their respective owners. Copycats will be tied with a millstone around their necks and will be tossed into the Philippine Deep with regrets! That’s our heartless way of saying NO TO ONLINE PIRACY!).

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